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Moral behavior as a cause of domestic violence
Uwajeneza Donatha
Apr 10, 2024 - 11:08
Research conducted by the Rwanda Men's Resource Center (RWAMREC) reveals that men are the most perpetrators of domestic violence. One of the causes of this violence is property. Often this violence occurs when men assume ownership of family property and understand that belongs to them. This toxic mindset must be addressed to develop a safe and balanced society.
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It is a problem seen all over the country, where it is based on cultural behaviour, often imitators follow their parents and grandparents... so their descendants also want to imitate them.
RWAMREC, which helps men change their behaviour, said that because people do not know human rights, it is easy to abuse them.
This happened to Nshimiyimana Evariste, a resident of Muko Sector in Musanze District, Northern Province, who shared his story of transformation, and admits that he used to be one of the men who abused their wives, but he changed and is now committed to helping other men end domestic violence
“I used to beat my wife every day, even brought a prostitute into the house, I did not value her. I drank and got drunk because the money was mine. My wife never looked good (in her face) because of the beatings, but now she is a beautiful bride, good-looking,” Nshimiyimana stated.
Mrs. Namuhoranye Xaverine emphasized that her husband has really changed for good and they share some ideas before deciding to do any action related to their family or friends.
She said that before this had never happened in their family, where her husband drank and misused household resources.
She stated that now her husband remains involved in the home development, they advise each other before doing anything in their family.
Miss Odile Mukunduhirwe, the first-born in the family, said that her father used to be a drunkard and that affected their well-being, even at school. She highlighted it was a burden to her because she wasn’t able to manage her Father’s behaviour.
She added that now, everything has changed, and she’s proud to be born in her family, which is totally different in that time.
After his change, Nshimiyimana became a story!
After being taught by Rwamurec, Nshimiyimana changed, and some of the men took him as a story but later came back to consult him.
"Other men tell me that I have eaten something. The thing that makes me happy is that these men come to see me, and I give them advice because the Bandebereho project has helped me a lot," Nshimiyimana said.
“We're now working together and developing. That money I used to take to bars and prostitutes we use it to develop ourselves. Before there was no security in my home, but now we are safe, we help each other. Now my wife and children are fine. We work and save," Nshimiyimana added.
He highlighted there are still many people who think gender is a threat badly to men.
“Some people still say that gender is not good, some men find it's to disrespect them. But due to my understanding of it [gender equality], it is not like that. There is a need for more training in the community, and this attitude must change because it keeps the community from progressing and being in conflict leads to killing each other, “Nshimiyimana revealed.
RWAMREC helps men in 4 districts of Karongi, Musanze, Kamonyi, and Nyaruguru change their attitudes toward preventing domestic violence in their homes because there is a lot of domestic violence.
Since starting the 'Bandebereho' project, RWAMREC has trained more than 37 thousand men. It is a long path of reconciliation, where the champions help others to change.
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