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Lack of understanding of the principle of equality causes men to not value their women
Uwajeneza Donatha
May 23, 2024 - 19:26
A lack of understanding of the principle of equality causes many men to abuse their spouses and slows down the family's development. This is what happened to Ngendahimana Alphonse who lives in the Rwamagana district, after being the cause of 6 years of conflict in his family, mainly due to disrespecting his wife, Mrs. Mukankusi Josiane.
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A family that lives in conflict cannot progress because it is characterized by the competition and inconsistency of the spouses. You will find in that family the husband does not value his wife, like Mrs. Mukankusi Josiane and Ngendahimana spent 6 years in conflict. They emphasize that communication and living in peace are the foundation of a home's development.
Ngendahimana Alphonse who lives in Munyiginya in Rwamagana district says that when a man understands the principle of equality and harmony he values his wife. This is due to his life in all 6 years, he does not value his wife and children and creates conflicts.
In the interview with Isango Star, he said: “It was bad because I couldn't provide security at home due to the beer's bottle drink. You have noticed that life has changed, and you feel that you do not value your children and wife."
"When you understand equality, you value a woman, but I don't value her. I felt that we had nothing to do with each other. I thought that a man should not be equal to a woman. But after being trained, I understood that men and women are equal, we are the same in our family and we have gotten closer to our family members by conversing with them, no problem," Ngendahimana added.
He mentions it was often based on taking away her property rights, such as harvesting crops, selling it, and putting all that money into his pocket.
“We are farmers, we worked and reaped. We tried to harvest but I took away her rights, this is the problem I had, "Ngendahimana stated.
“If we harvest, and he used a lot of energy, if it's beans, it should be immediately taken to the market, and takes away her rights. I took it to the scale, put the money in my pocket, and went to the bar with the girls, but she had no right," he added.
Ngendahimana felt that a woman could not have the right to property because she felt that it belonged to him, even if a woman had worked for it.
However, this changed after being trained by the Rwanda Women Network, because now they are left to consult in everything and help each other in work.
His wife, Mrs. Mukankusi Josiane confirms that before being trained, she lived very badly because she had no right to property, so she had no clothes or soap for use at home.
She says she learned her rights and values after the training. She said, "I learned Equality, complementarily, how I can talk with my husband...we end up complementing each other in everything at home."
She only witnesses the transformation of her husband that makes them come together and develop.
"What I can tell you shows that he has changed is that the children are happy, they say thank God because Papa has changed. But you feel when he came we all ran and cried, you feel that there is a big change,” she stated.
"What I can tell you shows that he has changed is that the children are happy, they say thank you, God, because Papa has changed. But you feel when he came we all ran and made noise, you feel that there is a big change," she added.
When she arrived about to assist her at home, she would say "he aids me when we leave the farm; when I want something to cook, he seeks wood fires. Or if there are domestic animals, he immediately goes to scour herbs and returns home and feeds those animals."
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