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Kuba umugabo ni ibikorwa, si ukwiharira ijambo
Uwajeneza Donatha
Jul 18, 2024 - 13:10
Akenshi ijambo ‘kuba umugabo’ buri wese afite uko yabisobanura bitewe nuko yarezwe, cyangwa ibyo yabonye. Bamwe bavuga ko kuva umugabo ari ukutavugirwamo n’uwo ariwe wese ndetse ijambo uvuze rigashinga imizi kabone nubwo ryaba ari amakosa. Gusa bamwe bavuga ko kuba umugabo ari mu bikorwa no kumvikana.
kwamamaza
Munyaneza Vedaste utuye mu Murenge wa Nyamirambo, Akagali ka Rugarama, mu mudugudu wa Riba, avuga ko akiri muto yakuze yifuza kuzaba umugabo ndetse agaharanira kubigeraho. Ariko igihe cyaje kumusobanura ubwo yisangaga abana mu makimbirane n’umugore we, nyuma y’imyaka itatu babana buzuzanya, kandi bafashanya mu mirimo yose y’urugo rwabo.
Avuga ko hari abantu bumva nabi igisobanuro cyo kuba umugabo bikaba intandaro y’amakimbirane mu muryango. Ndetse nubwo yakuze ashaka kuzaba umugabo ariko mbere yo guhugurwa na Aegis Trust yisanze yarumvaga nabi ijambo ’kuba umugabo’.
Ati: “kuba umugabo numvaga ari ukuvuga ijambo mu rugo rikaba itegeko, rikaba ihame. Niba mvuze ngo ‘aya mafaranga ni ibihumbi 10, ngaha umugore ibihumbi bitatu gusa, birindwi ni ibyanjye, ni iby’umugabo, ninjye wayakoreye.”
Avuga ko icyo gihe umugore atashoboraga kumuha igitekerezo ku mikoreshereze y’amafaranga yakoreye nk’umugabo.
Ati: “nahitaga mubwira ngo ceceka, ninjye mugabo mu rugo! Niba ntashye ngakomanga uko nshaka kuko ninjye mugabo mu rugo! Ariko njya gushaka hari umuntu wambwiye ngo ‘nujya gushaka uzabanze wige kucyo ugiye gukora!’ ubwo naracyize. Ariko aho nahuguriwe nabonye umugabo icyo ari cyo. Burya kuba umugabo ni ibikorwa, ni mu mutwe. Kuba umugabo ni ukumvikana n’umugore wawe, mukicarana mugahiga ikigiye gukorwa.”
Yifashishije urugero rw’amafaranga yinjira mu rugo ku kwezi, yagize ati: “angana gutya, azakora iki, mukabipanga, noneho kwa kwezi kukazashira mwaramaze kubona icyo muzayakoresha. Nuko cya kintu ukagikora kandi ntiwiharire ijambo, ukumva umugore nkuko wamushatse kuko si umugore wo kurarana nawe, ahubwo aje ngo muhugurane, mwumvikane. Baravuga ngo nta mutwe umwe wigira inama, nyine uzanye umugore ngo akungure inama.”
Uwamahoro avuga ko amahugurwa bahawe yafashije cyane umugabo we, ati: “ariya mahugurwa yaramufashije cyane kuko sinashoboraga kumugira inama ngo mubwire ngo iki kireke ariko tuvuye hariya [guhugurwa] yajyaga kubyanga nkamubwira nti ‘ ntabwo ejo bundi turi hariya ntabwo wabonye ukuntu dutegana amatwi nuko bikagenda neza?!’ nagiye mutwara gake gake nuko biza kugenda neza.”
Ahamya ko iyo umugabo asobanukiwe ihame ry’uburinganire n’ubwuzuzanye bifasha urugo cyane.
Ati: “umugabo ni umutwe w’umuryango, rero iyo yumva ibintu neza amenya uko atwara abo mu rugo. Bigenda neza iyo umugabo yabyumvishe ndetse n’umugore akabyumva kuko hari abanga guteka cyangwa gusasa ngo ni uburinganire! Ariko ibyo iwacu ntibihaba. Simusiganya, nawe ntansiganya.”
Ku ruhande rw’umuryango, Uwamahoro yongeraho ko “kuba yarabashije kubyumva ntabwo akivuga ngo ndiharira ibintu byose kuko ndi umugabo, abasha guca bugufi, nanjye ngaca bugufi nuko tukumvikana. Rero usanga utuza no mu mutwe kuko iyo utekanye ubasha no gutekereza neza. Njyewe rero …iyo umbwiye nabi, nuva ibitekerezo byanjye bisa naho byimutse. Ariko iyo muvugana neza, mukajya inama mutuje, ugira amahoro nuko nibyo uri gukora bigenda neza.”
Munyaneza avuga ko umugabo ushaka kubaka agumba kumva ubwuzuzanye ndetse akamenya ko nta mirimo yagenewe abagabo cyangwa abagore, bagajya inama, ntihabe kwiharira ijambo… bityo ibyo bizabafasha kubana mu mahoro.
kwamamaza